Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Blonde Jokes

Best first: Q: What would you call a clever blonde?
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A: A golden retriever.
    
 Blonde Jokes

 
The Best Blonde Jokes!

* A small note to start with: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes, even the really hilarious ones, to make actual people feel bad. That's a game that has no winners and nobody has ever gotten any friends worth the name.
 
Everything you give out will have an influence on you, so it's best to give out something positive. And while you're at it, why not enjoy these truly mean and ridiculously funny jokes, just, you know - for academic purposes!

Q: What would you call a clever blonde?
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A: A golden retriever.
“I got a nice compliment on my driving today”, a blonde brags to her friend. “There was a note left on my windshield and it said “parking fine”.
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair black?
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Artificial intelligence.
A blonde in a miniskirt tells her friend, "A guy made me an offer today. He said he'll give me $30 if I make a handstand. So I did, of course."
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Her friend replies, "Come on, he just wanted to see your panties."
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The blonde girl replies, "Hey I'm not that stupid. I took them off before!"
A boss says to a blonde waitress, "Could you please fill up the salt dispenser?"
An hour later she's still at it, so he asks, "What happened, why is it taking so long?"
She whips back, "Do you know how hard it is to get the salt through the little holes?!"
Q: What do you call a blonde who has half a brain?
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A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a blonde girl standing between two guys?
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A: A mental block.
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde girl a penny for her thoughts?
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A: Change.
Q: How many blondes do you need to change a light bulb?
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A: Two. One holds the Diet Pepsi, and the other one calls, "Daaady!"
Why is it a bad idea to let a blonde girl skydive when she's on her period?
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She always pulls the wrong string.
"How come your blond girlfriend never smiles?"
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Because I told her once that I want a serious relationship and not just fooling around.
Why do blondes only shoplift in Walmart?
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Because there are always lower prices.
Little Johnny asks his blonde mum: "Do you believe there is life on the moon?"
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"Of course, look, they have the lights on."
Why is it difficult for blonde girls to write the number 11?
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They never know which of the 1s comes first.
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