Really Funny Clean Jokes
How come the barber won the race?
The cheater took a short cut.
Why do you call your dog ”I-know-what-you-did”?
I love how many
people jump 3 feet high when I start calling him.
That moment when you’ve changed your answer in an exam in the very last
second and later you realize the original answer was correct.
Mother: Eat your bread.
Child: I don’t like bread. Why do I have to eat
Mother: So you become big and strong.
Child: Why do I have
to become big and strong?
Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to
Child: But I don’t like bread!
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings
him on his cell phone.
“Honey,” she says in a worried voice, “please be careful.
There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way
down the highway.”
“Oh it's worse than that,” he replies, “there are
hundreds of them!”
Q: How many times could old Noah go
A: Only twice. He only had 2 worms.
Paul to Jane:
Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Jane: That’s a bit direct. Can’t you
come up with something more beautiful?
Paul: I tried, but they didn’t
Financially I‘m set for life. Provided I die next Wednesday.
A guy calls the fire department and yells excitedly: “You have to come,
now, there’s a fire!”
“OK sir, but please tell us how do we get to you.”
The man asks, puzzled: “What, you don’t have them big red trucks anymore?”
What did one candle say to the other?
A: I'll be going out tonight.
The local minister sees that every morning, some apples
on his tree are missing. He makes a sign:
God sees everything.
morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he’s not a snitch.
magical golden fish agreed to grant three men a wish each.
The first man wished for a
room full of gold.
The second man wished for a room full of diamonds.
The third man wished for keys to those rooms.
Why didn’t the dinosaur cross the road?
Because there weren't
even any roads during the Jurassic Period!
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