Amazingly Funny Quotes
Funny, witty, sarcastic, amazing - the best the cream of society came up with and was
To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.
Some cause happiness wherever
they go; others whenever they go.
“I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn’t my first choice but my doctor
told me I can’t have any biologically.”
there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him
with four or five cupcakes.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be
changed regularly, and for the same reason.
José Maria de Eça de Queiroz
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving
cup, whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.
Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet
completely sure about the universe.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread
and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman
“The second I get shampoo in my eyes, I’m 100% sure there’s a murderer in my
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if
green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
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