Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Riddles

Best first: Q: When does a man really like being alone? A: When he becomes an heir.
 Really funny riddle

Really funny riddles with answers.
Clean, short and hilarious brain teasers.

Q: Where do fish keep their money? A:On River Bank
Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.
Q:There is bomb on top of a computer; around the computer are a hairbrush, keys, phone and a cup. When the explosion comes, what item destroyed first?

A: The bomb
Q: What has two legs but cannot walk?

A: A pair of trousers.
Q: There’s a man who can tell the exact score before every soccer match. How on earth does he do that?

A: The score before every soccer match is known to everyone. It is always 0:0.
More funny riddles and answers:

Q: What has 6 feet and sings?

A: The singing trio.
A: Who earns money without working a single day?

Q: The night watchman.
Q: What’s got feathers but no wings?

A: Your pillow.
Q: Who eats a lot of iron without getting sick?

A: The rust.
A: What do you call the fruits of anger?

Q: Smacks.
Q: What stays in the corner all the time but travels around the world?

A: Stamps.
Q: A question in a math class. You have 2 apples in your hand and then you add another 4 apples in your hand. What do you have?

A: A very big hand.
Q: What has one eye, four legs, and half an anus?

A: Half a lobster!
Q: What is the difference between a car and toilet paper?

A: It’s perfectly OK to buy a used car.
Q: How do you throw an egg on the floor without cracking it?

A: Unless you have very bad floors, throw the egg any which way. The floor shouldn’t crack from a simple egg throw.
Q: Is it legal to marry the sister of your widow?

A: Doesn’t matter. You are dead anyways.
Q: The more he has the less he weighs. What is it?

A: Cheese with holes.
Q: When does a man really like being alone?

A: When he becomes an heir.
Q: When you take 2 out of 3 apples away, how many apples do you have?

A: The 2 apples you’ve taken with you.
Q: What is dirty after washing?

A: Your bath water.
Q: What is a Korean in the ocean?

A: Wet.
Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple but one apple should remain in the basket. How do you do that?

A: You give 19 children one apple each and to the last one you give the basket containing the last apple.
Q: A doctor gave you 3 pills that you have to take every half hour. How long does it take you to use them all?

A: One hour. You took the first one immediately.
Q: On Thursday, a man went for a horseback trip on Friday and returned two days later on Saturday. How is that possible?
A: The horse’s name was Friday.
Q: A man on a flat soccer field kicked a soccer ball 40 feet away. The ball came back immediately at the same speed. No one else and no object have been involved. The ball didn’t touch anything on its way. How did the man do that?

A: He kicked the ball up in the air.
Q: What goes swimming with you but never gets wet?

A: Your shadow.
Q: How much earth lies in a hole 3 feet deep and 3 feet wide?

A: None. It wouldn’t be a hole anymore if there were earth in it.
Q: What spends all the time on the floor but never gets dirty?

A: Your shadow.
Q: What animal turns about 200 times around its axis after it dies?

A: A roast chicken.
Q: Maybe I can hear everything but you'll never hear me say a word. Who am I?

A: Your ear.
Q: Peter’s smart phone fell into a big mug of coffee but didn’t get wet. How was this possible?

A: It was coffee powder.
Q: Which lion is a very good swimmer?

A: The sea-lion.
Q: You can sleep on it, brush your teeth with it and sit on it, what is it?

A: A bed, a tooth brush, and a chair.
Q: A man goes out in heavy rain with nothing to protect him from it. His hair doesn’t get wet. How does he do that?

A: He is bald.
Q: When a child is going to school for the first time, where will it sit?

A: Nowhere, it is still going.
Q: What is the longest word in the English language?
A: Smiles. There’s a whole mile between the two Ss.
Q: You had 20 men build your house in two months. How long would it take 10 men to build the very same house?

A: Zero seconds. The house was already built by the 20 men.
Q: Who can smell without having a nose?

A: The cheese.
Q: On which side do chickens have the most feathers?

A: On the outside.
Q: How many months in the year have 28 days?

A: All of them.
Q: Who lives an exhausting life?

A: The exhaust.
Q: How can somebody walk for 8 days without sleeping?

A: He sleeps only at night.
Q: When can a man walk on water?

A: When the water gets really cold.
Q: What question do you always have to answer with “Yes”?

A: How to spell the word YES.
Q: What gets quickly wet while drying?

A: The towel.
Q: What insect needs to eat the least?

A: The moth – it only eats holes.
Q: Who is the biggest victim of the yo-yo effect?

A: The moon. It gains and loses every month.
What is yours, but is used much more often by your friends?
Your name.
Q: What nails are a pain to hammer into wood?

A: Your finger nails.

Q: In what glasses shouldn’t you pour apple juice?

A: The already full ones.
Q. What starts with “e,” ends with “e,” and contains one letter?

A. An envelope.
What does a newspaper reporter use to dry himself after his shower?

Answer:Paper towels.