The Best Blonde Jokes!
* A small note to start with: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes,
even the really hilarious ones, to make actual people feel bad.
That's a game that has no winners and nobody has ever gotten any
friends worth the name.
Everything you
give out will have an influence on you, so it's best to give out
something positive. And while you're at it, why not enjoy these truly
mean and ridiculously funny jokes, just, you know - for academic purposes!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?
A: They both swallowed a lot of semen.
Q. Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?
A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It's dark in here isn't it?”The other replied, “I
don't know; I can't see.”
Two blondes
are talking, “Did you know that Christmas will be on Friday this year?”
-
“Oh hell, not Friday the 13th I hope!”
A blondie comes
to the emergency room with burns on both ears and says, “Doctor, I was
totally lost in thoughts and my phone rang and I picked up a hot iron
instead.”
-
The doctor wonders, “And what happened to the other ear?”
-
The blonde girl replies, “Well I had to call my boyfriend to take me to
the hospital!”
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
-
Just put her in front of a mirror and have her play “Stone, paper,
scissors”."
How do you confuse a blonde?
-
That is impossible. They're already born
that way.
Q: What is long
and hard to a blonde?
A: Grade five.
Do you need to keep a blonde girl busy for days? Give her a paper with
“please turn over” written on both sides.
Why do women
have blue spots around their navels sometimes?
-
Because there
are also blonde men.
Why is
it more convenient to park with a blonde in the car?
You can
park in a disabled place.
One blonde to the other: “Shall I tell my
parents that I am adopted?”
Why would it take too long to build a blonde snowman?
-
You would spend too much time hollowing out the head.
One shark says to the other: “I ate a diver
last week. I’m still sick from all the plastic.”
The other shark
waves a fin: “That’s nothing. I ate a blonde last week. She was such an
airhead I still can't dive.”
A blonde girl says to her friend, “I think Bill is cheating on me. I'm no
longer even sure the kids are mine.”
What does a fox do when he steps into a trap?
-
He bites off one leg
and is free.
-
What does a blonde fox do when he steps into a trap?
-
He bites off 3 legs and is still trapped.
A blonde goes to court.
Eventually the judge says: “I hereby declare the case closed. There is not
enough evidence that you stole the 10000 US$.”
The blonde is
thrilled: “Gosh, so does that mean I can keep the money?”
A guy is telling a brunette
some blonde jokes. Finally she interrupts him and says, “It’s really funny
and everything, but I’m actually a blonde, I’ve been dyeing my hair
for years.”
-
“Oh”, hesitates the man, “um, should I start over and talk very, very
slowly?”
Next Part
of Blonde Jokes
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5 |
Part 6
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