Awesome Jokes
What connects the computers in Sauron's office?
A Tolkien Ring network.
When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?
At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
I'm bigger than you!
What do you call a snake that rides around on the front of a car?
A windshield viper.
Did you hear about the plumber who worked a top a skyscraper?
He plunged to his death.
Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
dung
What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?
A lumpy milkshake.
What is lemonade?
When you help an old lemon across the street.
Have you seen the new Barbie Doctor doll?
You wind her up, and she operates on batteries.
What did the football say to the football player?
I get a kick out of you.
This guy comes blasting into the doctor's office and exclaims, excitedly,
“Doctor, I think I'm shrinking! I think
I'm shrinking!”
“Ok, just settle down sir,” the doctor says.
“You're just going to have tobe a little patient.”
I failed my driving test today.
The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?”
I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”
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