Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious Puns!

Best first: Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged every day.
    
 Best puns double meaning jokes

Pun Intended


Q: Why did the lights go out?
 
A: They liked each other a lot.
They found a hole in the wall of the women's soccer team changing rooms.
The police are looking into it.
What to call a bear who’s lost all its teeth? – A gummy bear!
When I was young, I used to think facial hair looked really stupid, but then it grew on me.
A group of termites marches into a saloon and ask: “Is the bar tender here?”
Who said grapes are soft? They never cry when you step on them, they just let out a bit of wine.
Why did the banana have to go to the doctor?
 
It wasn't peeling too well.
The future, the present, and the past walk into a shady bar.
 
Things get tense.
A bacon sandwich walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.

“Sorry,” growls the bartender, “we don’t serve food here.”
They’re building a restaurant on Mars now. They say the food will be great, but they’re worried about a lack of atmosphere.
Do you know how Moses makes his tea? Hebrews it!
I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.
Why didn’t the toilet paper go down the water slide like everybody else?
 
Well, he got stuck in the crack.
Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged every day.
“What’s the difference between glue, a tuna and a piano?”
“No idea.”
“You could tuna piano, but you couldn’t piano a tuna.”
“Oh. And what’s with the glue?”
“I knew you'd get stuck there.”
I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green.
Q: Why did the lights go out?
 
A: They liked each other a lot.
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