Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Little Johnny Jokes

Best first: „And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“
 Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far too scratchy.”

Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”
“He’s as old as me,” Johnny informs her.
“Now how would that be possible?” inquires the surprised teacher.
“Well – he became father the day I was born.”
English teacher asks class: “Which tense is the sentence ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL’?”

Little Johnny replies, “Clearly, past tense.”
Little Johnny is making faces at school. The teacher catches him at it and says, “You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally can’t go back and you end up really ugly.”
Little Johnny quiets and says, “Well, at least you were warned…”
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?”
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”
– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.
Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”
The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, “OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?”
Little Johnny shouts eagerly, “A teacher!”
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.
She asked everyone in her class, “Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!”
A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up.
Startled, the teacher says, “Oh, do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, Miss, but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone!”
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