Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Little Johnny Jokes

Best first: „And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“
 Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: “If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?”
Without hesitation, Johnny answers, “Two dollars.”
Teacher isn’t happy, “Come on, Johnny, you don’t know how to count.”
Johnny shrugs, “Maybe, but I do know my dad!”
Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents’ bedroom one night. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, “And these people tell me I shouldn’t pick my nose?!”
Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, “Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?”
Little Johnny smiles proudly, “No Miss, there’s no need, my mom cooks really well.”
Little Johnny to his mom: “I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!”

Mom: “Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?”

Little Johnny: “Not really, we played 2:2.”
Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?

Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.

Teacher: How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled.

Johnny: Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa.
 „And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“
Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, “Allright, boy, out with your report card.”
Johnny says, “I don't have it, dad.”
“What? Why not?” asks his father.
“I borrowed it to my friend. He wanted to freak out his parents.”
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: “I didn’t had no fun for months.” Then she faces the class and says, “OK class, how should this be corrected?”
Little Johnny says, “I think you should get yourself a better man!”
Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny pipes up, “HIJKLMNO”!
The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."
Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?"
Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."

First Part
of the Best Little Johnny Jokes

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