Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Sayings

Best first: If you’re having a bad day, remember some adults wear braces.
 
 Funny sayings

Cool and Funny Sayings

Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.

When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?

Funny bumper stickers:
 
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
 
Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
 
Braking is for suckers.
 
Am I driving too close in front of you?
 
Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
 
I'm also lost. There's no need to follow me.
Interesting status update:

9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The tenth is humming.
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering when you are quite definitely not.
They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but I don't want even the slightest risk.
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?

I wonder what the hairstylist does for a living...
Send out your heart to the emancipation movement, bearded women want to be loved too.
It's funny how many people get mad when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
Never drive faster than a guardian angel can fly.
I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately, my phone was drunk. 
When you don't know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:

I will now answer you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the refrigerator?
When you're late:

I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:

"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up with:

Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.
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Funny Sayings

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