Cool and Funny Sayings
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any
occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.
When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds
Funny bumper stickers:
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
Braking is for suckers.
Am I driving too close in front of you?
Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
lost. There's no need to follow me.
Interesting status update:
9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm
crazy. The tenth is humming.
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering
when you are quite definitely not.
They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but I don't want even
the slightest risk.
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?
I wonder what the hairstylist does for
Send out your heart to the emancipation movement, bearded women want to be
It's funny how many people get mad
when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
faster than a guardian angel can fly.
I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately,
my phone was drunk.
When you don't
know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:
I will now answer
you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the
When you're late:
I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker.
Come over to the dark side of the Force."
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up
Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.
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