Funny Chemistry Jokes and Puns
An American and a British chemist meet at a conference. “
So what do you do?”
asks the British chemist.
“I work with arsoles,” replied the American.
“Oh I
feel you,” nods solemnly the British one, “my colleagues piss me off too.”
After a fight, proton sighs to his electron spouse: “I really don’t know why
you always have to be so negative.”
A chemist came in a bar and ordered H2O. His chemist friend said he'd like H2O too.
It was pretty messy. Then he died.
(For the non-chemist - H2O2 -
hydrogen peroxide - is in its pure form not good for human health - not at
all.)
Rule number one of chemistry: Never trust atoms. The little beasts make up
everything!
Helium walks into a bar fight. Argon hits him with a bar stool. Helium
doesn’t react.
It is a little known fact that you can lower your body temperature down to
-273 °C and be perfectly 0K.
Rule number two of chemistry: Although chemistry is a lot like cooking, You.
Never. Lick. The. Spoon.
The cool guys drop the base. The adventurous guys drop acid into water.
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