Really Funny Clean Jokes
The boy of ten was sipping his favorite strawberry soda at McDonalds when his pal strolled in.
The boy looked up from the drink and said, “Thought you were over at Jenny’s house.”
“I’m through with girls,” the other said, “after all, they’re a dime a dozen.”
“You mean it?” – the boy again halted his sipping.
“A dime a dozen? Gee whiz. And all this time, I’ve been spending my money on sodas.”
The mother was furious. “Paul!” – she yelled. “Why are you making such awful faces at your bulldog?”
“Well, Mom, he started it!”
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
“My father grows beans,”
said one girl.
“My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
A third student spoke up, “We are all
human beans.”
Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“
Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a
cake’!”
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a
password on their Wi-Fi.
What is white and sits on your TV?
A fly wearing
a nightie.
A boy breaks on old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets
extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was
from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t
new.”
Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a
well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. “Give me your money,” he
demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, “You can’t do this – I’m a US
Congressman!“ “Oh! In that case,” smiled the robber, “Give me MY money!”
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
-
You stick with me and I will take
you places!
Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?
A. They can’t stand fast
food.
Why does it suck to be a penguin?
Because
even when you get angry, you still look cute.
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no
chemistry.
A recent scientific study showed that out of
2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
Daddy did you know
that girls are smarter than boys?
No, I didn’t know that.
There you go.
Next Part
Clean Jokes
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part
5
Check out all our funny categories:
