The Best Blonde Jokes!
* A small note to start with: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes,
even the really hilarious ones, to make actual people feel bad.
That's a game that has no winners and nobody has ever gotten any
friends worth the name.
give out will have an influence on you, so it's best to give out
something positive. And while you're at it, why not enjoy these truly
mean and ridiculously funny jokes, just, you know - for academic purposes!
Q: What do you call a blonde girl with two brain cells?
What do you call a blonde who lost 95% of her intelligence?
Why did the grim blonde girl’s mirror have bullet holes in it?
She tried to shoot herself.
Why don’t blondes waterski? They haven’t found a lake with a slope yet.
A slightly tipsy blind guy in a bar shouts to the bartender, “Hey,
bartender, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
A man next to him whispers to
him, “Before you say your joke, there’s something you should know. Our
bartender is blonde, as is the bouncer. I'm a 6' 3'', 200 lb black belt. The
guy sitting next to me is 6'2”, 225 lb, a rugby player. The chap to your
right is 6'5“ pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Every one of us is blonde.
Think about it. Do you really want to tell your joke?”
The blind guy
says, “Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.”
A blonde raises a conspiracy
question, “If Titanic was sunk because it hit an iceberg, how come there
were no pieces of the iceberg found?”
There is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead in Grade 5. Which of the girls
has the largest breasts?
The blonde one, she’s already 18.
How do you keep a blonde chick busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde
chick busy? (see above)
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and exclaims: “Doctor, please help me.
Whenever I touch my leg, ow! It really hurts... When I touch my elbow, oh
Lord! It hurts... When I touch my head, goodness gracious it hurts! When I
touch my elbow it hurts like hell!”
The Doctor looks her over and calmly
replies: “Miss, it appears your finger is broken.”
How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Ask her to count the stairs on an
One blonde says to the other: “I did a pregnancy test.”
nods appreciatively and asks, “And, were the questions really hard?”
Why is it wrong to say “a dumb blonde”?
Because you don't say “a dead
corpse” either, do you?
of Blonde Jokes
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