The Best Blonde Jokes!
* A small note to start with: It is NOT OK to use blonde jokes,
even the really hilarious ones, to make actual people feel bad.
That's a game that has no winners and nobody has ever gotten any
friends worth the name.
give out will have an influence on you, so it's best to give out
something positive. And while you're at it, why not enjoy these truly
mean and ridiculously funny jokes, just, you know - for academic purposes!
Q: What would you call a clever blonde?
“I got a nice compliment on my driving today”, a
blonde brags to her friend. “There was a note left on my windshield and it
said “parking fine”.
What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair black?
A blonde in a miniskirt tells her friend, "A guy made me an offer
today. He said he'll give me $30 if I make a handstand. So I did, of
Her friend replies, "Come on, he just wanted to see your panties."
The blonde girl replies, "Hey I'm not that stupid. I took them off
A boss says to a blonde waitress, "Could you please fill up the salt
An hour later she's still at it, so he asks, "What happened, why
is it taking so long?"
She whips back, "Do you know how hard it is to
get the salt through the little holes?!"
Q: What do you call a blonde who has half a brain?
Q: What do you call a blonde girl standing between two guys?
A: A mental
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde girl a penny for her thoughts?
How many blondes do you need to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One holds the
Diet Pepsi, and the other one calls, "Daaady!"
Why is it a bad idea to let a blonde girl skydive when she's on her period?
She always pulls the wrong string.
"How come your blond girlfriend never
Because I told her once that I want a serious relationship
and not just fooling around.
Why do blondes only shoplift in Walmart?
Because there are
always lower prices.
Little Johnny asks his blonde mum: "Do you believe there is life on
"Of course, look, they have the lights on."
Why is it difficult for
blonde girls to write the number 11?
They never know which of the 1s
What do you call a really smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
of Blonde Jokes
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