Funny Chemistry Jokes and Puns
Titanium is a right old slut. It combines with just
about anything when it gets in a heat.
Why is it not a good idea to get romantically involved
with a hemiacetal? Because he is seriously unstable and always has some
alcohol.
All this arguing whether the glass is half full or
half empty is futile. It is always full, only in varying ratios of liquid
and gas.
What is H2O4? It’s for drinking, washing, gargling…
you name it.
I got this fantastic book about helium. It is
impossible to lay down.
If you wished to be discreet and inoffensive to the
ladies of polite society, how would you write diarrhea? (CO(NH2)2)2
What to do with a chemist who’s gotten sick? If you
can’t curium and you can’t helium, find a good spot to barium.
Sometimes, Cesium and Iodine get together and watch
telly. CSI is their preference.
My experiment blew up, annihilating the entire lab.
But that’s life, oxidants happen.
Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
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