Short and Funny Jokes! Father One Liners

Best first: What do you call a sheep without legs? A cloud.
“But I’m really hungry!”
“And I’m really Dad.”
 Funny Dad jokes

Good Old Dad Jokes

A snowman sniffs, “Hm, funny, I smell carrots…”

We only had 4 candles for my cake when I turned 15. My Dad said: “It’s fine. We’ll use them. It is 4 your birthday, anyway.”
Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and the world suddenly stops smiling.
What do you call a sheep without legs? A cloud.
“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”

“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”

“Um, Dad - there are only 2 trees.”
The phone rings.

Dad: What does the caller ID says?

Mom: Private caller.

Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border? Me neither, I couldn’t follow it.
Two balloons fly through the desert. One yells at the other, “Be careful there is a pffffftttt”
I wanted to wear my camouflage jeans today but I just couldn’t find them.
You should always give the ponies at the fair some water. They’re just a little horse.
How much longer is the Amazonas compared to the Nile? By 4 letters.
My dad’s typical compliment to when I’ve done something good – Wow, you’re a fart smella! I mean a smart fella!”
Did you know that UPS and Fedex are going into a merger? They will be called Fed-Up now.
I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.
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