Good Old Dad Jokes
“Dad, can you call mom’s phone? She can’t find it.”
“Absolutely! ‘Mom’s
phone! Mom’s phone!’”
When life gives you lemons, politely but firmly say “No thank you”.
I went to choir practice. My dad told me not to forget a bucket. I
asked why. Dad said, “You’ll need something to carry your tune.”
Dad to his daugher: “Never forget, sweetie, you're unique, like everyone else.”
Dad to his overweight daughter: “Oh sweetie. Don't worry. Real men like
curves, only dogs like to play with bones.”
Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school? But it’s fine now,
the kid woke up again.
Having a twelve-inch long nose is anatomically impossible. At that
point, it would become a foot.
Whenever the cashier asks my father if he would like the milk to be put
in a bag, my dad happily replies, “Nah, it can stay in the carton!”
You will never hear the pterodactyl relieve himself. Their pee is
silent.
We used to live in a really bad Italian neighborhood. It was called the
Spaghetto.
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