Hilarious Jokes
Seriously good jokes!
I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right
back – way too expensive and really bad quality.
A duck walks into a bar.
It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have
bread?”
Bartender: “No.”
Duck: “Do you have bread?”
-
Bartender: “NO!”
-
Duck: “Do you…”
Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE
NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT
WALL!!!”
Duck: “Do you have nails?”
Bartender: “NO!”
Duck: “Do you have bread?”
Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her
birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.
Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what
happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I'm sorry
but I just didn’t like it.
After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new
thing was just too scratchy.”
A man has usually no idea how often he normally farts. That is, until he
spends 24 hours with a girl he likes.
How did Capitan Hook die?
He got distracted and wiped his butt with
the wrong hand.
A man in a
butcher shop: “I would like bull testicles please”
-
Butcher: “Me too”
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken hasn’t
evolved yet.
Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of
the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try
farting in public just one time!
A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.
What day does the egg fear the most? Friday.
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building: “Mr Trepper, you live
directly above me and you have the same 2-room apartment as I do. How many
rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?
“We got 18 rolls,”
answers the neighbor.
Two months later the guy meets his neighbor
again and says, “It’s really funny – I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I
still had 10 rolls left over.”
Neighbor smiles, “Yeah, so did we.“
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