Short and Funny Marriage Jokes
Arguing with your husband is fun, even if he wins... he loses.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone. The husband is
surprised, “Wow, that was quick - usually you women are at it for two hours
at least!” “Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.”
One easy step to lose an argument with a wife: 1) Argue.
A boy asked his father, “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?”
grimly replied, “I wouldn’t know son, I'm still not done paying for it.”
Q: Why did God create Adam first and Eve as second?
A: Because he wasn’t
interested in listening to anyone telling him how to make Adam.
What four words are guaranteed to depress a husband anytime, anywhere?
my purse honey.'
A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and asks what
happened. The man replies: “My wife told me that she wouldn’t talk to me for
a month.” The waiter replies, “Oh no, that’s horrible!” Man: “Yes!!! (Sobs)
Today that month is over.”
Women are saints. They forgive you even when you’re not guilty!
My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look sexy. So I
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked
surprised to hear it.
My wife told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her
text messages, I had to admit she was right.
She: “Honey, I don't like you with the new glasses on.”
sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses.”
She: “True, but I do.”
My wife said I ruined her birthday.
I’m not sure how I did that, I didn’t even KNOW it was her birthday!
Husband and Wife Jokes
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