The Funniest Jokes Top 100
official to the other: I don't know what people have against us - We
haven't done anything.
‘I’m sorry’ and
‘I apologize’ generally mean the same thing – except at funerals.
Two men are playing golf. One of them is about to take a swing when a
funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. He stops
mid-swing, takes off his cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in
His opponent comments: That must be the most touching thing
I’ve ever seen. You are a very feeling man. The man, recovering himself,
replies, Yeah, well we were married 35 years.
What do you call it when a chicken sees a salad?
Why do you see
so few black people on ocean cruises?
Well, they're not going to fall for
that one again.
Doctor: Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years.
doctor, I am already 80!
You see - I told you to quit smoking.
home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her
bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the
Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts
hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.
Still in shock, she lurches
to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there,
reading a magazine.
Oh welcome home darling, he says, my parents came
for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello.
cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying
in a new BMW than on a bike.
What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?
Finds the nearest skyscraper.
Which bees produce milk? The
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