Funny Dog Jokes and Puns
I
should have been more suspicious when the Chinese guy offered to “wok my dog
for me”…
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a cougar?
A: Trouble with the postman.
Q: What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping
on your bed?
A: Quietly go sleep on the sofa.
Q: What do you do when you see a dog eating your
dictionary?
A: Take the words out of his mouth.
Q: Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a
lion?
A: Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.
A dog thinks, “Wow,
the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house
away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat
thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live
in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”
Q: What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a Saint
Bernard’s?
A: A dog that bites you and then goes to fetch help.
What do you
mean, my dog was chasing a guy on a bike?
My dog doesn’t ride a bike!
Q: What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating
from your plate?
A: Seek
medical help.
You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs
recently.
Q: What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler?
A:
Anything you like, just very quietly.
Q: What do you call a wolf who picks up litter after
campers and is worried about pollution?
A: Aware wolf.
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