Short and Funny Jokes! Top 50 Dog Jokes

Best first: I went to the zoo – and all they had was one small dog. It was a shih-tzu.
 Very Funny Dog Jokes and Dog Puns

Funny Dog Jokes and Puns

 Q: Why don’t blind people parachute very often?

A: It makes their guide dogs really uncomfortable.

 Q: Why do people call it a “litter” of puppies?

A: Once they grow a little bigger, one look at your ruined house will explain.

 Q: What kind of dog eats with his ears?
A: They all do.

 I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.

 “I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.

 My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.

 I'm like, How does my mother know that?”

- Wendy Liebman

 Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
 Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

 Q: What is the best timekeeper you could wish for?

A: A watch dog.

 Q: Why do dogs lick their butts?

A: Because nobody will do it for them.

 Q: What does a dog become when it’s seven years old?

A: Unless something terrible happens, eight years old.

 The official dogs’ song?
 “Every snack you take, every food you make, every can you shake, every seal you break, I’ll be watching you….

 What an amazing, clever dog we have, darling.

 He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!

 Q: Why don’t people put an ad in the paper when their dogs get lost?

A: And how many dogs do you know that actually read newspaper?
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