Very Funny Office Jokes and Puns
Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
Why was the civil engineer's relationship so unstable? Because there was no truss left!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer.
Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''
Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.''
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.
Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Employer: We need someone responsible for the job.
Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.
What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass!
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint.
The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.
Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
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