Amazingly Funny Quotes
Funny, witty, sarcastic, amazing - the best the cream of society came up with and was
The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner.
I'm not addicted to coke, I just love the way it smells
By all means, marry.
If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll
become a philosopher.
We've had "cloning" in the South for years. It's called "cousins"
“I didn’t give you the finger…you earned it.”
He who laughs.....lasts.
“Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
I can resist everything except temptation. Oscar Wilde
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t cook it!”
Gordon Ramsay (TV Chef)
Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you
“I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to
stop talking and I panicked.”
"I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night."
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