Funny Christmas Jokes
Advent calendars are an inspiration
to us all. They are so jolly – and yet their days are numbered…
Where does Santa send the
elves‘ wages?
To the snow bank.
What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time? A Holly Davidson.
Doctor, I can’t
get rid of the idea that I’m a Christmas bell, please help!
– Very well,
take these pills twice daily and if the
Jedi knights have an extra
advantage at Christmas. They can feel the presents.
Lisa thanks her grandpa, “Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last
year for Christmas. I've never got such a brilliant gift!”
“Really?” asks
the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, “Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom
gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!”
Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby
sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.
“Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!” Ogden Nash
Little Johnny by the Christmas tree: “And are all these gifts from
Santa?”
“Yes Johnny,” beams his mother.
“Oh, so you didn’t get me a
darn thing again this year, did you.”
Why would no bank ever give Santa a loan?
Because all his accounts are
frozen.
An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a
100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it?
Santa does, the other two are
creatures of myth and legend.
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of the Best Christmas Jokes
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