Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Christmas Jokes

Best first: What do snowmen do in their spare time? They’re just chilling.
 Funny Christmas jokes

Funny Christmas Jokes

Advent calendars are an inspiration to us all. They are so jolly – and yet their days are numbered…
Where does Santa send the elves‘ wages?
To the snow bank.
What kind of a bike does Santa ride in his spare time? A Holly Davidson.
Doctor, I can’t get rid of the idea that I’m a Christmas bell, please help!
– Very well, take these pills twice daily and if the Jedi knights have an extra advantage at Christmas. They can feel the presents.
Lisa thanks her grandpa, “Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas. I've never got such a brilliant gift!”
“Really?” asks the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, “Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!”
Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.
“Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!” Ogden Nash
 Little Johnny by the Christmas tree: “And are all these gifts from Santa?”
“Yes Johnny,” beams his mother.
“Oh, so you didn’t get me a darn thing again this year, did you.”
Why would no bank ever give Santa a loan?

Because all his accounts are frozen.
 An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it?
Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.
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