Short and Funny Jokes! Funny Christmas Jokes

Best first: What do snowmen do in their spare time? They’re just chilling.
 Funny Christmas jokes

Funny Christmas Jokes

At Christmas, mother says to Little Johnny, "Go on and light up the Christmas tree Johnny.“

Johnny runs off happily and comes back after a while, asking, „Should I light up the candles, too?“

“Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I'm doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience." –Jimmy Kimmel
Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?
They hate giving away their presence.
What keeps falling but never gets hurt?

The snow.
Christmases are always quite hard on the turkeys, but at least they don’t go hungry. In fact, they are stuffed since morning!
 Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.
"Christmas is a time for remembering. So that’s me f***ed.” Ozzy Osbourne
What goes oh-oh-oh? Santa doing the moonwalk.
What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.

What is invisible and does NOT smell like milk and cookies? Santa’s farts.
A Christmas prophecy: Yule be hearing lots of carols. Lots.
I heard of a guy who shoplifted an Advent calendar. He got 24 days.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!
First Part
of the Best Christmas Jokes

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