Funny Christmas Jokes
Seriously, I wonder why Santa still uses reindeer to draw his
sleigh every year. From what I understand, reindeer really suck at drawing.
What happens when snowmen
fight?
They give each other the cold shoulder.
Last Christmas I gave you my heart... well - that was the end of
me...no one survives without a heart.
Why should you never mess
with Santa?
Because he’s got a black belt.
It’s a good thing
Santa doesn’t suffer from dyslexia. It would be inconvenient to receive a
Christmas visit from Satan.
In the morning of Christmas Eve, a lady
rummages through the last remaining turkeys in the supermarket freezer.
“Do they get any bigger by any chance?” she asks the shop assistant with a
sigh.
He looks at her for a while and says, “No madam, they are quite
dead.”
Which
type of donuts does Santa prefer?
The ones with the ho-ho-hole.
Walking down the street I
wonder if at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus, or of General Electric.
A dog is gazing up at the Christmas tree and sighs with satisfaction,
“Oh, my master is the best, as always. What dog can say they’ve had
electrical lights installed in their indoor toilet?”
What would you call an elf
who is an excellent swimmer?
An elfin.
Where do snowmen keep money?
In a snow bank.
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