Cool and Funny Sayings
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any
occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.
When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds
Funny bumper stickers:
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
Braking is for suckers.
Am I driving too close in front of you?
Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
lost. There's no need to follow me.
Interesting status update:
9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm
crazy. The tenth is humming.
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering
when you are quite definitely not.
They say good, honest work never did anybody any harm, but I don't want even
the slightest risk.
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?
I wonder what the hairstylist does for
Send out your heart to the emancipation movement, bearded women want to be
It's funny how many people get mad
when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
faster than a guardian angel can fly.
I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately,
my phone was drunk.
When you don't
know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:
I will now answer
you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
Experts say you shouldn’t eat at night. So who put the light bulb in the
When you're late:
I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker.
Come over to the dark side of the Force."
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up
Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.
If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer
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