Cool and Funny Sayings
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any
occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.
I’m very sorry to interrupt you, but you must have mistaken me for somebody
keyboard connected. Press F1 to continue.
If you see nothing you could be grateful for, check your pulse.
Nature didn’t give me enough middle fingers to let me express my opinion of
have to excuse me, I suffer from emotional constipation. I really can’t give
Wow, doesn’t your butt get jealous at the amount of crap that comes out of
If at first you don't succeed, blame somebody else and find a good
Looking at the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken must have been
around 8 or 11 feet tall.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what’s he done to you?
It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound. Which is why
some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.
If your wife wants to learn how to drive, you
better not be standing in her way.
swift as a gazelle. An old one. With arthritis. Run over by a Land Rover. 8
How many times must I flush before you finally go away?
I'm really good at stuff until somebody watches me do that stuff.
There are two key rules in life. 1. Never give away all of the information.
You may have one but that doesn't mean you have to act
It is what’s inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.
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