Cool and Funny Sayings
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart remarks for any
occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.
I am awake. That is about all I am able to comment on regarding my current
If a bra is called ‘over the shoulder bolder holder’, men’s underwear should
definitely be known as ‘under the butt nut hut’.
Sorry, I can’t hang out. My auntie’s cousin’s brother in law’s best friend’s
accountant’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Some other time maybe.
A sound defense:
Nah - It was the voices that told me to do it.
All my life I thought
air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of crisps.
Funny that you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter".
Warning! User Error. Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to
I had loads to do today. Ah well,
so now I have loads to do tomorrow.
If a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no
need to nag him every 6 months about it.
beloved masters. Cats have waiting staff.
Somebody exhorting you to rise and shine?
The early bird can kiss my
I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. My opinion of you has
dropped significantly lower since then.
Fart when people hug you. You’ll make them feel strong.
Of course you're not fat.
Just grab a couple of chairs and come sit with us.
We got divorced on the grounds of religious differences. My husband thought
he was God.
You look just like I feel...
It is a truth universally acknowledged that your urge
to pee intensifies as you are unlocking the door.
How stupid are you?
I didn’t fall down. I did attack the floor though.
Check out all our funny categories: