Short and Funny Jokes! New Jokes

Best first: What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
The slow swimmer.
    
 new Jokes

New Jokes  
Fresh and Funny!


New category: Fun Facts | Dad Jokes
Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!
New categories: Christmas jokes | Funny Videos | Marriage Jokes
The urologist is about to leave his office and says: “Ok, let's piss off now.”
Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?

Do you smoke?
No.

Do you eat too much?
No.

Do you go to bed late?
No.

Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?
No.

Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?
I was going to start a Procratinators Club. But then I realized I’d have to reject anyone who actually turned up at the meeting so I decided to put it off again.
Important note from a car manual:

Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.
“ Do you know how to make a dumb person curious?”
-
“No, how?”
-
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
New categories: Knock Knock Jokes | Puns
Truly delicious tofu recipe:

1) Chuck the tofu.

2) Fry a juicy steak.
Why do women put on make-up and perfume?
Because they are ugly and they Daddy what is a transvestite?
-
Ask Mommy, he knows.
Shortest joke a software developer can tell:

“I’ll be ready soon.”
What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.
You know you’re old when your friends start having kids on purpose.
If alcohol influences short-term memory, what does alcohol do?
“Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?”

“Hey – did you just call me fat in retrospect?!”
First Part
Best New Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 |
Part 9 | Part 10 |