Short and Funny Jokes! New Jokes

    
 

New Jokes  
Fresh and Funny!

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Joke for mothers:
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor. When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it. When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.

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My boss told me yesterday, “Ken, you shouldn't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want”.

But when I turned up at the office today in Ghostbusters clothes, the dog said I was fired.

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My dog once ate all the Scrabble tiles. He kept leaving messages around the house for days.

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New category: Prank Ideas / Practical jokes

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I hope the children will never find out why I say ‘oooops….” so often when I vacuum their rooms.

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My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. But OK, maybe she meant it differently when she wrote it in her diary.

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New joke category: Dog Jokes

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“So what are you doing today?”
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“Nothing.”
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“What the heck, you were doing nothing the whole day yesterday!”
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“That's right, and I'm not finished yet.”

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Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks.
I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”
He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.”

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“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
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“No, not a soul, actually.”
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“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”

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Best New Jokes

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