Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious Black Humor

Best first: Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
 Black Humor - Sarcasm

The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes

An artist asked the gallery manager if anybody asked about his paintings.
“Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” said the owner. “The good one is that a gentleman liked your work and asked if its value would appreciate after your death. When I said yes, he bought all 20 of your paintings.”
“But that’s fantastic,” whooped the artist. “What could possibly be the bad news?”
“The gentleman was your doctor.”
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit.“
Nurse: The malingerer in Room 9 is dead.
Doctor: Oh man, he just won’t stop exaggerating!
Do you think there’s no good news about having Alzheimer's?
You can buy and wrap your own surprise presents. Plus you are constantly making new friends.
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Q: Have you heard they found a dead guy with his head buried in his cornflakes?
A: The police believed it was a cereal killer.
A stressed-looking mom and little Johnny run around the beach. After about fifteen minutes the mom stops, out of breath and demands, „Come on Johnny, please remember where you buried daddy in the sand, will you?“
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Best Black Humor Jokes

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See also: New jokes