Short and Funny Jokes! Hilarious Black Humor

Best first: Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
    
 Black Humor - Sarcasm

The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes

Patient: “Doctor! Doctor! Help me - I cannot feel my legs!”
 
Doctor: “Don’t panic, that’s perfectly normal. It’s because I amputated your arms!”
A mom tells her son a joke; the son is embarrassed and says: “Mom, please don't tell any more jokes. You really can't make them.“
 
The mom only shrugs and says, ”Well – I did make you...”
What is the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
 
People usually cry when they cut an onion.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Doctor tells his patient, “I’m afraid you are going to die in a few hours. What is your last wish?”
-
Patient replies, “I need a good doctor.”
If I ever need a heart transplant, I'd want the heart of my ex-wife. She’s never used it.
What is black and sticks to a tree?
 
A peeping tom after a forest fire.
Why do hurricanes get such lame names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
“Mother I really don’t like the red soup”
“Be quiet child. We get it just once a month”
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Best Black Humor Jokes

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See also: New jokes